Tuesday, 22 October 2013

A Piece of my Mind: To the Parents and Kids, Sexual Abusers and Victims...and You- Rx Jennifer Olakpe

Few weeks back when I was on night duty at Lagos Island maternity hospital a 13yr old girl was brought in, she had been raped by a 36yr old man ... 

Hmmm... I have had a lot of thoughts on my mind lately and I have been finding it difficult to put my thoughts into words, you know, that moment when you have a thousand and one thoughts in the crevices of your mind. I mean deep down you and you can't but unbottle the pent up mixed feelings.
I am sick and tired of hearing rape stories, it totally breaks my heart, and I just can’t imagine how the rape victims feel. Let's take a look at what rape really is. Rape is having sex with someone without their permission and forcefully too, so I can also state that it is possible for a woman to be raped by her husband. I used to think it was only girls that could be raped but talking to my best friend, he brought it to my knowledge that the male gender can also be raped just that the female rape is on the high side, he even went further telling me about a woman in Canada, who sexually abused her son’s male friends and was facing trial for the act. The one that’s so annoying and depressing is the case of the paedophiles….I mean like seriously (straight face)
A young girl carrying a baby

What is so attractive to any man, old enough to control his sexual urge (between I should think all men know how to control their sexual urges), in little girls that aren’t mature? It just disgusts me and beats my imagination to know that some 30yr old man will push his 'big thing' into a little girl's virgina, a girl who is about 10 years or less.  Oga  paedophile do you know what you do to this little ones? Do you know how damaged you leave them? Do you know what that dirty act turns these girls into? They are broken, shattered, destroyed on all sides; they feel less loved and guess what? That act destroys their love and outlook of life. That act even follows them into their relationships, oh how you destroy great destinies of our society, nation and world with that one dirty and abusive act!!!!!
Weeks back when I was on night duty at Lagos Island maternity hospital a 13yr old girl was brought in, she had been raped by a 36yr old man or so. He kidnapped her and after raping her he took her to Ajah and dumped her there. Like seriously if you must do haba!!!! I feel there are still cheap local babes, why put a girl through that trauma, hurt and pain? He was caught though but what hurts me is that the penalty for rape is less than 5 years in our country. At some point this year the rate of the paedophilia act increased amazingly, there were pictures flooding twitter of older men having their genitals in the mouth of little girls, I was disturbed and pained, I mean WHAT THE HELL!!!!! Don’t blame these girls if they become nymphs, you made them that way…..  It’s so rampant in India and I love what the government there did weeks back, death sentence should be the penalty for such a crime because to me you have indirectly destroyed a life and in a way destroyed a generation and a hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Dear mother why do close uncles rape your little girls? Note: I am not saying it is your fault but what role did you play in educating your little girls about sex? Did you tell them what their privates are and also alert them that no one; I mean NO ONE was allowed to touch them there? Or that if anyone did as much as touch them on any sensitive part of their body they should let you know? This are questions I ask myself when uncles rape their nieces because trust me it started from somewhere…it started from a Jane sit on my laps, smacking of Jane’s butt unnecessarily saying they are just playing with her, calling Jane my small wife, which small wife? Rebuke such statements as soon as it’s being made! Even with the aunts too, touching the little girls growing breast….I am sorry if I am taking this too far but hey! Don’t blame my mind. I think its high time parents learned and got used to enlightening their kids about these things. I am not a mother yet so if you are saying what does she know about parenting sef ? You are right, I know nothing but I know and feel that the relationship between parents and their kids should be as though they are best friends; get involved dear mum and dad, yes! the dads are not left out! Be involved in their everyday life it’s not just about school and assignments, be accessible!!! Let your kids be free to tell you personal stuff, make yourself their daily living diary, avoid a certain level of closeness between your daughter and one uncle or you son and one aunt. Talking about house helps, honestly only God can save parents from the hands of the wrong house helps. No one knows the heart of man, pray for your kids and also pray that God touches the hearts of whoever you leave them with. God help us all and I pray that we have the grace to be the best parents we can be, AMEN!
...then comes a sigh of relief; so free a mind. *wink*

Written by Pharm Jennifer Olakpe.
Jennifer Olakpe


  1. Nice one. U've said it all. God bless you

  2. Hmmmmm, its just so sad that things like this have been going on for a long time and we all seem to be quite about it. Most abusers were once abused too and cos they didn't or couldn't seek help, they end up being who they are. The earlier we speak out the better. You can read up Tunde Leye's weekly episodes titled "Burnt" on www.tlsplace.wordpress.com it relates to issues like this.

  3. Thank you Wande and Morenike Omotayo. Your advice or comments are noted. Lets keep speaking against this animalistic act and we shall win the war someday if we faint not!

  4. Rape is a crime against humanity,against our norms and beliefs and d effects are boundless as d victim never truly overcome it totally. we all av 2 be our broda's keeper 2 hlp build a beta 2morow 4 us nd the future generations,Dis issue falls back 2 our acquisition of knowledge,either from homes,schools, churches and mosque. Cos d basics of all dis gatherings is to acquire more and develop d little we knw, charity dy say begins at home, I fink even d government has a role to play in eradicatin ds deadly issue by creating an avenue for severe punishment of rapist as well as victims to b properly cared for n psychological therapies will b administered to dm to help combat it effect efficiently, 2 mi d penalty should be imprisoning d rapist for twice his age as at d time of rape without the option of bail or parol, dn other contenders will think twice before jeopardising both dre future n dt of d young lady,,nice write up dear

    1. We have been talking about this grave acts of rape et al. On legal action against it, I believe we can continue the campaign till our elected lawmakers are awakened and they take the desired actions. Thank sisPhade

  5. Very well said Jennifer Olakpe (Pharm). Lovely write up. Keep it rolling . I totally agree with all said but not the death sentence but certainly any other punishment should be proportionate and well deserved. The 'my wlife my wife' and d rebuke was quite hilarious.. Lovely article, we hope someday these issues will be adequately handled. As men of honour.........

  6. Beautiful memories this do bring....congrats as you walk the aisle with your boo